Tales of a Crafty Mama

i have a little secret...

Come on over here!

rethinking things

{source}

I felt the guilt as soon as I walked in last night. Well, actually as soon as I stepped onto the porch. My friend's  whole lovely beautiful house was completely decked out for the holidays. It was stunning. Truly stunning. And not in the overdone, cost-a-fortune, gaudy sense, but in the perfectly cozy, just-my-style sense.

And I immediately felt bad. And sad. That my little house, lived-in-for-almost-seven-month-and-nothing-is-on-the-walls-house, was hardly decorated for Christmas. We have a little tree that is decorated, but that is it. The red and green Christmas boxes have sat in a corner of the dining room for a week and a half and all I have pulled out is the books and the ornaments. I just haven't felt up to it.

I've been busy. Homeschooling, photography, normal day to day life stuff.

And to be completely honest, it's been a really hard year for my little family. So many things go unspoken here on my little blog. But behind the scenes, it has been a hard 2010. We are okay. We're making it. But it has been hard and I am tired.

So this year, this Christmas, it has been hard to be motivated to decorate, to shop, to do all the normal holiday things. Even though I want my house to be cozy and decorated. And I haven't wanted to deal with the pefectionism that comes every single time a holiday comes and the constant struggle of all the expectations I put on myself to make it all just right for my family. Nobody puts it on me. No, it is all me.

So I make a list. Because that is what I do and because to have something in writing, a plan of sorts, makes me feel more motivated and purposeful. I tried to keep it simple. I really did. Things like make snowflakes together and washing my hands with my favorite pine-scented soap. Things I knew would be easy to succeed at. And I tried to remind myself over and over again that He is the real reason for all of this. Jesus is Christmas, not anything else. Just Him.

And it has all felt easier. I have slowly been gathering the decorations and putting them out. We have been reading the Bible together at breakfast every morning, and lighting a sweet smelling candle together at dinner. Trying to do one little thing that is Christmas and Jesus-focused together every day. And it has been good. I have felt really good and peaceful about it.

But last night, when I went to my dear friend's house, I felt that guilt and perfectionism sneak in again. I immediately wanted to rush home and spend hours decorating my house before Bible study this morning, which is not only ridiculous, but absolutely impossible! And it is truly nothing that she did wrong, my sweet friend. She so lovely and so Christ-like- she just also happens to have an amazing talent at making her home beautiful! It is just a gift she has.

So this morning, I got up and before I took a shower and begin to tackle the before Bible study housecleaning (and the hopes of bringing my house to it's full Christmas decorating potential...), I took the time to read this post, by the always inspiring Ann Voskamp.

And the words, "Whenever Christmas begins to burden, it’s a sign that I’ve taken on something of the world and not of Christ." hit me hard.

Because that was what I was doing. Feeling guilty that my house wasn't feel Christmasy enough. That is taking on something of this world. All my striving and wreaths hung and lights strung is in vain if He is not my focus. If He is not my everything.

Ann's words...

"What if I laid down efforts and expectations, perfectionism and performance, and simply waited with arms and heart and eyes wide open?"

Isn't that what it is truly all about?

Why is it so hard to let go? To be okay with doing less? To be okay with admitting that it has been a year filled with happiness and but also filled with pain? To be okay with letting this Christmas be less about the stuff and more about finding real joy and peace and Jesus?

"Christmas isn't a product to wrap but a Person to unwrap and what can keep us from the yearning just for Him?"

I am okay with the list. It does help me be more intentional. But I am letting go. I am letting go of all the guilt associated with Christmas and measuring up and fulfilling all my crazy expecations to have it all just so. Because who is it all for?

If it is not for Him, it does not matter.

If it doesn't lead me to finding more of Him, it doesn't matter.

Jesus is Christmas. 

That is it.

Nothing else.

But I have to admit how hard this all is for me. It doesn't come easy. Just a second ago I was interrupted from my writing by little ones fighting in the living room. I almost started crying at the mess of it all. Them fighting, the house a disaster, and undecorated. I yelled. We cried. I said sorry.

And I start over.

Christmas is not about me. Not about a pefect house. Or perfect kids. It is not about finding the perfect gift, continuing or starting the pefect tradition.

It is about Jesus.

Repeat. Over and over again. All month long.

sneak peek :: Nick + Leslie

More over here!

a december to-do list

{image source unknown}

Oh, my. Here we are already at December 15! I am feeling a little overwhelmed + sad that the month is almost halfway over. I am trying to remain calm and have a peaceful Christmas season with low expectations, no perfectionism, and lots of joy. Really I am. But to be completely honest the past couple of weeks have been busy + stressful. Of course there have been great moments! But overall, I feel like the holiday season is rushing by and I am scrambling to not only keep up, but feel like I am really celebrating it at all. Not to mention, feel like I am taking the time to reflect on Who this season is all about.

So what better to do than make an official December To-Do List? (We all know I am a super big fan of the "to-do list"!). Taking the time to think about what I really want myself + my little family to get out of a season/holiday really helps me keep things in perspective and prioritze our time. And it really helps me to write it all down. If I keep the list in my head, I find it just gets longer and longer and longer and I get more and more overwhelmed (especially when I stumble upon inspiring things other mamas are doing with their families and start the whole comparison game).

So, here we go...

{image source unknown}

THE OFFICIAL DECEMBER 2010 TO-DO LIST:

• Stop stressing about getting the Advent calendar done (total mama guilt there because we haven't done one single day yet). It will get done. And next year we will celebrate all 25 days. For now, just focus on planning the 12 days of Christmas and making them really special.
  
• Bake cookies. For the neighbors. For us. Lots of cookies. Molasses + frosted sugar cookies for sure, and maybe one or two new ones?
  
• Take time every single day to pray and spend time with Jesus. Preferably in the morning.
  

{source}

• Order my Christmas cards and mail them out! (I actually have them made already, I just need to order them...)
• Read lots and lots of Christmas books with the kids. We pulled out our big box of them last week and it made us all so happy. Take the kids to the book store to buy a new Christmas book for this year.
• Read Ann's Advent book. I had wanted to do it as a family, but it just didn't happen. So I am focusing on reading a little bit every day to myself and maybe to Erik too at night.

{source}

• Decorate Gingerbread houses together (hopefully with our dear friends like last year!)
• Use lots of Mrs. Meyers holiday scents when cleaning (I have the pine handsoap + the orange clover counter spray)
• Watch lots of Christmas movies together. At the top of my list: White Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, Little Women (not totally a Christmas movie, but I really love it), and A Charlie Brown Christmas. What are your top Christmas movie picks?

{source}

• Make paper snowflakes to hang from our ceiling + windows
• Listen to Roger (a tradition inheirited from Erik's family). Truth be told, he is a little like Keith Green- you kind of have to grow up with them to appreciate them and they tend to be a little cheesy... here is one of our favorites: Christmas Is Here Again.Oh, and Christmas Song. 
• Make a snowman + snow angels (if the snow comes back!)

{source unknown}

•  Try to take at least one photo every day
• Make ornaments with the kids
• Track our Operation Christmas Child boxes

{source}

• Take the kids on a drive to look at Christmas lights
• Take a break  from homeschooling for the rest of the month+ instead focus on creating lots of cozy sweet memories as a family and sharing with the kids about Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas (this is probably #1 on my list of things to do!)
• Plan a special Christmas Eve morning with breakfast + stockings + sweet family time (since we will be with the extended family on Christmas Day)

{source}

•  Plan a special cozy Christmas afternoon/evening at home. I am thinking a really easy dinner, gifts, games, and kids to bed early so Erik + I can watch It's a Wonderful Life together.
• Celebrate New Year's Eve! We never really do anything special or cool, so I think it would be fun to at least do a little something this year. 
• SLOW DOWN AND REMEMBER THAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT JESUS! Stop stressing. Stop being busy busy busy. Slow down and take the time to make this season everything I want it to be. Forget about expectations. Embrace whatever the day, the holiday brings and just go with it. Don't let the little things become big. Let the Savior be the only really big thing.

 

What things are on your December TO-DO list?

sneak peek :: beautiful friends

More over here!

ten on ten :: December 2010

11:00am- Craft set-up at Friday School. Jenny is back and oh, we are so so glad! After an almost two month break, it feels so good to be back in our normal Friday routine!

11:03am- Ruthie + Kit together at last. (translation: Audrey + her dear friend Lily and their newly aquired American Girl Dolls, together for the very first time. Very very happy girls!)

12:22pm- Cookies for the little ones. The mamas got the good chocolate.

1:45pm- My friend MacKenzie + her sweet boy.

3:01pm- A lovely Sarah Jane calendar at Jenny's

4:31pm- My Elliot by our Christmas tree

6:10pm- My dear Audrey showing off her Santa hat

6:13pm- A little self-portrait

7:36pm- Evening in our living room. Kids in bed, tree lit, content mama.

9:29pm- A really good reminder

For more information about Ten on Ten, please visit here!

sneak peek :: nick + jenny + darling little Mia

I just want to thank you all for your sweet comments about my photography! It means so much to me.  I treasure each and every comment! My little business is growing, so I am going to be posting the majority of my photo shoots on my other blog: andi mae photography, with sneak peeks here from time to time. I also created a facebook page- feel free to come check me out!

xo

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sneak peek of a dear family friend + her sweet litle family...

More over here!

sneak peek :: amy + jonathan + sweet little Clara

 

More over here!

this is just so beautiful

You know those songs that just stick with you? The ones you hear once and then have to keep hitting repeat because for some reason the lyrics, the melody just speak to your soul? This song is that for me. I heard it for the first time yesterday on my dear friend Chelle's blog and thought it was definitely one that deserved being shared again...

This Is Just So Beautiful

a little sparrow is serenading me
brand new melodies, songs so sweet
the roses' aroma is flying in the breeze
i close my eyes, breathe in deep

yesterday is gone
today i can see, o today i can see

my, my, my, for the very first time
i waved goodbye, bye, bye
to what used to weight me down
my, my, my everything’s alright
the sun is shining down
i’m looking all around
and this is just so beautiful

i felt forgiveness in the deep recesses of my soul
i was so empty, now i’m full, i'm whole
the world is cold and so very, very cruel
but the sparrows and the roses remind me there’s still so much good

yesterday is gone
today i can see, o today i believe

my, my, my, for the very first time
i waved goodbye, bye, bye
to what used to weight me down
my, my, my everything’s alright
the sun is shining down
i’m looking all around
and this is just so beautiful

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

my, my, my, for the very first time
i waved goodbye, bye, bye
to what used to weight me down
my, my, my everything’s alright
the sun is shining down
i’m looking all around
and this is just so beautiful

Jenny & Tyler

Previous

1/1

Next

01 december 2010

ON THIS 1ST DAY OF DECEMBER, I AM...

...Really really sad to flip my calendar to December. I am so excited about the upcoming month, but isn't that November picture so sweet? I love it.

...Loving all the snow. Record breaking amount over here and no complaints from me! Well, except for the fact that Audrey + I did get stuck in an intersection on the way to the library tonight...we made it out okay, thanks to a nice person who stopped and helped! Really though, having a bunch of snow on the ground definitely helps get me in the Christmas mood!

...Grateful that on cold days like today, I don't have to worry about getting my kids out of the house to school. Grateful that today school consisted of cozying up on the couch reading books like The Nutcracker and Charlotte's Web (we're still plugging away on that one), watching dancing videos on YouTube like this lovely one and this one, listening to my sweet girl read outloud while I make dinner, and making gingerbread playdough together.

...Listening to Christmas music. What are you favorite Christmas stations on Pandora?

...Reflecting a lot about Advent and what I want this month to look like for our family and for me personally. I am still putting together our little Advent calendar for the month (making the gingerbread playdough was our activity for today), but it is going to consist of sweet little things for us to do together as a family daily and readings from this beautiful Advent book written by Ann Voskamp. I am really grateful for all the work she put into making such an amazing resource and for providing it for free!

Happy December 1st, dear friends!